You always gripe up stairs!

Years back in the epic film "Saving private Ryan" (1998), Captain Miller (Tom hanks) explains to his squad when it is appropriate to "gripe" (Informal. to complain naggingly or constantly; grumble, dictionary.com).

Captain Miller: I don’t gripe to *you*, Reiben. I’m a captain. There’s a chain of command. Gripes go up, not down. Always up. You gripe to me, I gripe to my superior officer, so on, so on, and so on. I don’t gripe to you. I don’t gripe in front of you. You should know that as a Ranger. 

(Quote on creative complaining: Saving Private Ryan)

Alice Bradley

Just the other day, I was happy to stumble upon a theory which coincides nicely. In the article written during Hurricane Harvey, Alice Bradley explains about the ring theory, first created by Susan Silk.

The ring theory claims the following: depict the participating parties in an event (usually a traumatic one), as concentric rings, where the inner most ring contains the people most affected by that event and outer most the people least affected, then add yourself to one of the rings. Using this diagram you know how to say the right thing. You can complain all you want towards the outside rings but provide comfort towards the center of the rings. In short they call it "Comfort in, dump out" (Use the "Ring Theory" to Keep From Saying the Wrong Thing During a Crisis).

In my opinion this two theories or principles are important in leadership roles (not only military ones), and I have tried, even if not 100% successful, to abide by those principles.